I was playing with Future Method, your pH-balanced formula douche, and was shook when I read the instructions to just use a minimal amount of water and not go beyond the sigmoid colon. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #FutureMethod #TheScienceOfSexĪ post shared by Future Method on at 1:00pm PDT ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Good luck getting lost in the moment. Part of the reason the mind wanders is because people often fall into routines and get bored. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Another strategy is to mix it up when you hook up. Learn to stop letting your mind wander and focus instead on the sensations and the pleasure. They can also make bottoming uncomfortable or even painful, because you aren’t able to fully relax. What do you think about when you’re getting it on? Are you analyzing your performance? Thinking about how you look? Or maybe wondering how much they’re into what’s going on? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Thoughts like this are common and can make it harder to, well, stay hard and to come. There’s all these positive, positive things that should be associated with bottoming. You should feel sexy, and you should be able to get off. Because the reality is, it should be pleasurable. If you’re having these issues happen, clearly we as practitioners and/or educators have failed. It’s all because of the lack of education. When you look at most stories of youth finally trying to take it up the ass, the first experience is usually a bad experience. That you can go from nothing to something big right away. Many of us aren’t educated on gay sex when we’re adolescents or even afterward, so what’s a common misconception about gay sex? And that practitioner not only needs to be gay but needs to have taken it up the ass to understand all the issues associated with sex.” I remember walking home in Central Park with my partner, and he’s like, “Why do I give a shit if I go to a gay practitioner? I just want to go to the best practitioner.” And I kept saying, “No, no, I think people want to go to where they feel comfortable. Then I started to really look from a bottoming perspective and say, “Where do bottoms go to learn preventative approaches and education? If injuries happen - which they’re going to for anybody - how do they have spaces that are nonjudgmental and take away all of the shame and provide higher-end surgical sexual care?” That was what spawned Bespoke Surgical. Everybody was still back in the Dark Ages and treating only HIV-related issues, not analyzing the communities and figuring out what they needed from a specific health problem. I began to look at LGBTQ issues and see what people were doing on a surgical level for the community.
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Over the course of the next 14 years - with two kids and the usual gamut along the way - I really started to focus on my own internalized homophobia. I was married to a woman first, then finally came out with my current partner.
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Times were changing, people were dying and it just wasn’t what I wanted to do. I actually went into heart surgery first. To start off, tell me about your practice and how you wound up focusing on gay men’s health? Oh and BTW, you are stuck with me! 521Ī post shared by Evan Goldstein on at 1:57pm PST I thank you and I know our community thanks you as well. ? Andy wishing you the best of birthdays and many more years of putting up with this moody old man. He has though managed to perpetually stay the same age as when we met (28), year in and year out the smooth, beautiful boy I met that many years ago. It’s not seamless that’s for sure, but it seems to be ripening with age (he may disagree). Relationships in general are hard work, as is ours, and we have both finally, somewhat, got into a groove of our responsibilities, which in turn makes this all possible.
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It allows me to travel from NY and LA, bringing my overall skill set and more importantly, our mission of community -specific bottoming education to the masses. Having someone at home to run the entire household and all the comes with it, is harder work then me operating on all your asses.
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What allows me the freedoms to provide medical and surgical care to our community is having an amazing partner, an outstanding and dedicated father to our twin boys (Phoenix and Sebastian), and now more importantly, a terrific and avid tennis player.